It’s trembling, the desire to sail. As the wind rushes down the front range with plumes of fire and smoke I envision in my minds eye the waters of the Pacific. In this dream of desire I am upon a sail boat, and I am racing across clear water of quiet glass. I feel the breeze upon my face and taste the salty air. There is a sense of freedom that is alluding me in my life now. Try as I might I cannot make my body fly. This body that has survived so much. So I let the mind of my hearts desire fly free and I will sail. I will sail past the pain of losing my career, the pain of watching a beloved brother as he lays dying, a mother who is disappearing into the land of bewilderment and a Father who cares for all and grows old and weary. I will sail past a marriage that has settled for less than either of us desire, for dreams that never get to fly. For fears that haunt me in my sleep, for lonliness of days as I go about doing the work of the farm and my life on “life’s terms”. Sailing the world of freedom and light comes from within, finding the peace that can only come from God and the hope in a future that is better than a present. Embracing every day for what is brings, whether sailing or docked on dry land I chose to see the grace of glory in life. The birds can be my sail today as they soar across the meadows and fields. I can ride them with my heart and find peace.
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